How to Move Past your Last Dance Partner
You and your partner have been dancing for years, and a special bond was created between you. During that period, you’ve been through it all – great times, funny moments, negotiating, arguing, etc. When you think of all the ups and down, you see that you were supportive to each other, and grew together as dancers.
Unfortunately, along the way you, your partner or the circumstances have changed. Neither of you knows when exactly that happened and it’s no one’s fault. It’s just that you don’t think in the same direction anymore.
Perhaps you don’t want to compete anymore, but instead turn to a teaching career, while your partner is all hyped up about competing, pushing themselves beyond the limits. Or, maybe it’s you who wants to be a successful competitor.
Whatever the case may be, your dance relationship came to an end. Just like the end of any relationship in your life, this one also wasn’t pleasant. You feel disappointed, angry, lost, perhaps, betrayed. It’s hard. But, what’s happening to you right now isn’t the end of the world nor your dancing career and you can move on without holding grudges.
Why you have to let it go
No matter if you’re the one who broke up or your partner is, both of you have the right to follow your dreams and move on.
It’s easy to burn the bridges, but is it really necessary? I’d say that holding on to negative emotions is actually toxic for you and will keep you in a place where you don’t want to be.
Always bear in mind that you’re the most important person in your life and that you should be truly happy. And I’m not sure that staying angry with your ex dance partner and finding all excuses why you didn’t make as a couple can make you happy.
Holding grudges will only make your dancing career stagnate and will reflect poorly on your mindset. You might even be in a temptation to quit dancing career.
So, it’s crucial that you deal with this big change in the right way. Here are some tips to help you move past your dance partner:
Allow yourself to feel
A break-up involves a great deal of emotions, so you need to give yourself permission to feel all of them. Since there are five stages of grieving (denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance), going through all of them takes time and patience. Hence, be gentle with yourself and don’t try to play a tough person that’s totally fine with breakup.
Let it all out
Suppressing your emotions is a normal reaction, but it’s not a great response. In essence, what you want to do is let it all out.
Grab a piece of paper and write it all down; feel everything, go nuts – no one can see you. This means channeling negative feelings into a constructive action.
If writing isn’t your thing, you can talk to a therapist if that will help, or turn to your coach. Just be sure that the person you’re talking to is going to give you constructive feedback.
Remember your passion and goals
All these years you danced with your partner, and now you’re alone. Sure, this may feel scary, but, trust me, it won’t take you long to go back to dancing. Remember that you love dancing more than anything and that losing your partner doesn’t mean you should stop dancing.
Don’t bad-mouth your ex-partner
While going through the “anger” stage of grief, the first impulse will be to hate your partner, and come up with a list of the reasons why he/she isn’t the right partner for you.
The thing is that you shouldn’t do this, and neither should you talk bad things about your partner. Don’t act childish, handle this situation like a grown up person.
Let the anger pass by, don’t attach to it. Try meditating on this topic, perhaps you’ll find it helpful.
Think of all the lessons you’ve learned
Now that the hardest part is behind you, you should focus on all the things you learned from the relationship with your ex partner. Remember and cherish all the great and memorable moments, as well as those challenging ones when you were support to each other. See your partner as a human of flesh and blood, that’s imperfect like you are.
Look on the bright side of things
Right now, you probably don’t see the bright side of this situation. However, when you finally let it all in the past, you’ll see all those opportunities that are now opened for you. This also might be a good moment to ask yourself what your goals are now,, in terms of your dancing career. That way, you’ll know what you want from a new partner. .
And when you find a new partner, your past relationship could serve as an example to communicate clearly with them right from the start.
Remember: it’s okay to feel overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions at first, but eventually, you have to move on, and think of the years you were dancing as a couple as important lessons that turn you in a stronger and motivated dancer. After all, the person you had been dancing with all this time is also trying to live their life the best they can.
How did you deal with a dance partnership break-up? Let us know what was the hardest part to you and how you moved on.
I always loved dancing, but I started with ballroom dance six months ago, because I didn’t have chance to start earlier. However, now that I do, I want to make the most out of it. Never stop believing in yourself and give your best to make your dreams come true. As Les Brown said: “Shoot for the Moon, because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”.