How to Address Your Partner’s Performance Issues
Do you feel like your partner can do better? Did both of you invest so much time and energy that you don’t want to switch to other partners and would rather resolve the issue in your performance?
Dancesport is a bond between two partners who must actively engage if they want to maintain the health of their relationship. I know I’ve said this many times but it’s very important that we always remember the essence of what we are doing.
Now let’s get out of dancesport for a bit.
How do we deal with something when it derails? Often I am surprised to see people that are willing to give up as soon as a problem arises. Many have said that mathematics is the language of nature. It teaches us to think that every problem has at least one solution. In other words, there is nothing like a dead end, no matter how hard it seems. Through a simple analogy, we can apply this type of thinking in all areas of our lives. No matter how big or small are the problems, there is always a way to find a solution.
What is one of the most important things in life? Human relationships.
“Man is by nature a social animal;” used to be a guideline for Aristotle’s philosophy. It is in our nature to live among others and build strong relationships.
Social means communication and this is one of the most obvious ways to connect and interact with another human being.
Ok, ok, that’s enough philosophy for today. Coming back to dancesport, we can make a connection between what I’ve just said and the problems that a ballroom professional can have. I want to focus here on how you can have a creative approach when it comes to addressing your partner’s performance issues because I know this is something that turns off many of us.
You are getting ready to perform and you feel like you & your partner are disconnected at some level. It’s clear that you can’t break the relationship, especially prior to a competition. It takes time to build trust and learn from each other in order to have a strong bond. The first step is to have a conversation about what dance means to each of you.
Let’s say that you want to try a particular step and your partner thinks that it’s a waste of time because you don’t need it in your performance. This means that you have different opinions and you must reach a consensus. Give your partner the freedom to guide you through what he has in mind and then explain to him your point of view. Both of you will be satisfied if you give yourselves the freedom to act without throwing judgments on each other. I know it’s a lot easier to use criticism in order to point out what’s wrong but be careful (insert link)* though because it can hurt your partner.
Still, this should not undermine the importance of being honest. Just do it in a way that’s friendly and shows to your partner that you care for him and your relationship. It’s ok to have your ego in sight when you’re performing in a competition because it gives you that extra confidence so you can show everything you got. Let go of it when you’re practicing with your partner because the purpose is different. You are there to learn, not to shine and show who’s the best.
Another way to avoid damaging the relationship with harsh critique would be to have a few separate lessons. Being away from your partner can help you restore your confidence and get back into balance. Even though your body is in perfect shape, the mindset and how you feel about each other is incredibly important.
Ask yourselves this: “Do you practice enough?” If the answer is “no” then you might have found the cause of your problem. Dancesport is dynamic. If you don’t practice you’ll get weak.
There is no recipe for the best way to spark awareness in your partner so he can get back on track. Human relationships are far more complicated and unpredictable than we know them to be. I may have oversimplified things with what I said but deep down I know that circumstances matter and people matter. I also know that communication is so powerful that you can heal someone with just one word.
Make it clear to your partner about what you want to achieve in dancesport and make sure that you are both on the same side. Speak kindly and try to understand first. I can’t predict what will happen but I can assure you that your relationship will get better.
Dancing has been my passion since I was 13 and since then I've been doing things in that direction. Writing, creating and putting together the biggest community for dancers around the world!