Bianca: When did you start dancing and why? What do you love most about ballroom dancing?
Emilee Garfield: One day I walked by a new dance studio in my town and it was a ballroom studio. I had never danced ballroom before and I had always wanted to dance like those beautiful women on Dancing With The Stars.
My body was weak and my hair was just growing back in. I was only four months post-chemotherapy. I told my daughter that I am going to start dance lessons and one day maybe compete on the show, Dancing With The Stars. She told me I would embarrass myself and that I was too old.
HA! I was forty years old. Consequently, it became a dare. I wanted to show my kids that it doesn’t matter if you are a dancer or not, if you put your time and effort into anything, you will succeed. Bare in mind that I was not a trained ballroom dancer. I had danced in high school and college, but I was just average. Nor was I the star of the show. I was very shy and insecure about my body. I was struggling with depression and memory loss from chemotherapy. And to be honest, I needed to feel ALIVE again.
Bianca: How did ballroom dancing help you in your recovery? What is the most valuable lesson that ballroom dancing has taught you?
Emilee Garfield: I was just beginning to rebuild my life. My motto became GO BIG or GO HOME! So, I started to train with a private instructor named Vasily Goslin. He was from Russia. The first lesson I learned was the cha-cha. It was so fun and I wanted more. I was addicted from the first class. I had to train my body in this new style. My body was really stiff and I was recovering by having an Ileostomy, colon bag on my tummy. I had a lot of scar tissue in my core and if you do ballroom, you know it’s all about your core.
Before I knew it, I was training for my first ballroom competition at Emerald Ball. I couldn’t believe it. It was like everything I had been dreaming of was coming true. Karina Smirnoff was in my studio and I had a few private lessons with her. She taught me one thing that I took away from dance and it is what helped me win five 1st place prizes in my first competition! She told me to smile. Have fun. That is what people notice. Maybe I am not the best ballroom dancer, but I can guarantee you that when I am on the dance floor I am one of the happiest and most grateful people out there.
I remember my first time on the floor I was so nervous. I couldn’t afford a new fancy dress or wear high heels. My friend gave me her used orange dress and I had my flat beginner shoes on. It didn’t matter. I danced my heart out.
It wasn’t about ever winning for me. It was challenging myself that I can do anything I put my mind too. I put myself in the most uncomfortable situation, learning how to dance with a partner. What it taught me was trust. I created a life-long friendship with my teacher. He helped me through a very difficult time in my life, cancer and a divorce. He gave me back the confidence I had been lacking. Danced helped me believe in myself again. It was my medicine. I never took any drugs for my depression. I just danced.
Learning to dance ballroom was and still is a challenge and that is why I love it. It pushes me out of my comfort zone. It teaches me how to overcome obstacles. Some days I get mad at my teacher and frustrated because I want it to be perfect. What I’ve learned is that life is not perfect and that is ok. Make the best of your life every day! Dancing helps me remember this.
The most valuable lesson that dance has taught me is that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. It just takes determination and literally taking that first step. It has taught me to not let fear hold me back. You will never know what you are capable of unless you just go for it. And I did.